


first kiss : danrific

by knightsten



Category: Phandom
Genre: F/M, M/M, no
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2018-12-03 13:34:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11533287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightsten/pseuds/knightsten
Summary: dan and phil fight, so cat comes over to calm dans down.danrific is real and idc what you sayi know i have phan fics to butt i don't ship that anymore only danrific ❤️❤️❤️





	1. one - the argue

"but dan i wanna have the cheeky bum sex tonight" phil whined.

"no philly i'm sore just wait until tomorrow" dan said back.

"okay i'm going 2 bed. bye bby." phil kissed dan and walked into him and dan's bedroom and slept.

dan rolled his eyes. his boyfriend was a silly dood but he loved him.


	2. two :: kitty kitty mEOW MEOW

dan was laying on the couch scrolling on his laptop thingy.

then he got a message from a girl named catrific. he ignored it bc she was v annoying about dnp being in a relationship.

she wanted dan all to herself. that's why she placed cameras in their house to see when dan was alone.

cat kept blowing up dan's phone so he checked it even though he didn't want to lol

**cat: meow**

**cat: can i come over**

**cat: meow**

**cat: MEOW BITCH**

**cat: u and phil fought i wanna come  
over**

**cat: dan u rat answer me**

**cat: ily danny**

dan laughed wow cat was a funny gal if she thought dan loved her

he didn't rlly hate her i guess but he didn't like her like that for sure.

**dan: what's going on**

**dan: how did u know that**

**cat: meOWww**

**dan: bitch tf**

dan was confused but he just shrugged and joined phil in bed.

to sleep bc dan didn't want to do the nasty tonight gross

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone please tell me what i'm doing with my life


	3. three :: a b c d e f g why won't u love me

it was like 3am and dan and phil were asleep. 3am is like an evil hour or smth btw.

anyways all of a sudden a woman kicked down the bedroom door

"AAAAA" dan screamed and sat up which woke fil up and he screm too.

"yo waddup my weirdos!!1!1" she said. phil burst up and whacked her with a plank. where did he get a plank idk but it doesn't matter bc this is fiction.

"yowza" she said and touched her cheek. dan was still screaming.

phil let out a battle cry and hit cat even more with the plank.

she said "nuh uh girlfriend it took me three hours to perfectly put on my makeup this morning you are not messing it up" and then she touched phil with her sharp nail and he passed out.

dan was still screaming and he passed out too.

cat evily laughed. "aha aha aha." and then she realized soemthing. "wait what did i come here to do again?"

she couldn't remember so she shrugged and left dan and phil laying on the ground.


	4. four - what the fucc you give the good succ

Dan and phil both woke up at 12am. pm?? idk i always forget so let's jus say noon

angwahs they both got up and dan said "bro what happened"

"bro idk" phil said back.

then they both walked into their living room and cat was on the couch.

"BRO" dan yodeled. 

phil could only watch in shock as cat got up from the couch and walked over to dan.

dan screamed "stop it what's happening omg stop!!1!" 

she evily laughed and kissed dan on the lips.

phil was still screaming and dan just stared at cat.

he pushed her off and passed out.

then phil came in with his ninja skills and tried to kick catrific in he face

yeah by ninja skills i mean he was wearing a ninja costume from party city that was made for a 12 year old. 

he fell on the ground and cat left for good now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why did i start this like where is it going it has literally no plot


	5. five - lol bad kitty

it had a been a month since don and phil had seen kitty cat. they we're so happy 2gether and luved each other.

one night they were watching the telly vision and then the ohone rang. "ill get it yo" phil said and ran and picked it up and answered answered it.

"yo it's ya boy p-dizzle with the hottest beats, how are y'all?" he said and did dan's signature ironic peace sighs even though the person on the phone couldn't see fil.

"breathe" it was just breathing on the other end.

phil was confuZled.

"bro who is it" dan called out.

"bro idk it's just breathing." phil yelled back.

"just come back and love me iF THATS WHAT YOU WANNA DO" dan sang.

philip shrugged and hung up. he wentz and sat down with daniel again.

there was a cat on the tv screen and it was a documentary about how cats eat.

"aw das coot." phil said. "i want a cat, give me a cat bitch."

dan said i thought u we're allergic but mm ok baby"

dan walked to the tv and pulled out the cat.

phil screamed. "HOW DID YOU DO THAT YOURE A WIZARD HARRY"

dan smiled and said "nah fam i just had a spare case of cats behind the tv"

"oh ok lol" phil said.

dan put down the cat but it jumped onto the couch. it sat on phil.

"aw she likes me!!!!!" phil yelled. he started crying but he didn't know if it was from allergies or happiness.

but then the cat jumped onto phil's head and messed up his 2007 emo hair.

"bad kitty no no no" phil flung the cat off his head.

dan was just laughing. "even the cat is telling you to get rid of it lmao"

"shut up rat"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school starts on monday someone kill me pls and thanks


	6. six - dhil is real

it had been so fuckin long since we last saw dip N pip so les go check up on those tall lesbians

the camera zooms into their apartment aND OH MY GOD WAHT THE FUCK

dan and phil...

were bein normal lol

they were sitting on thei couch just eatin ramen or some noodle shit and browsing their phones,

mike said "bruh lets go check on dil and his kiddos" and james agreed so they went to tha fuckin computuer

they loaded the sims 4 and dil was there but his family was gone which was confusing

all of a sudden DIL JUMPED OUT OF THE COMPUTER

AHHHHHHHHHH EVERYONE WAS SCREAMING

DIL TOOK PHIL BY THE HAND AND STARED INTO HIS EYES

"I LOVEU BBAY' AND KISSED PHIL

OH MY GOD EVERYTHING WAS GOING CRZY

THEIR CAT CAME IN AND SHAPED SHIFTED INTO CAT OH MY GOD SHES BACK

CAT STARTED BREAKDANCING AND PHIL AND DIL WERE MAKING OUT

dan was sitting on the floor crying because he was terrifed

me too dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's for the dunkmedhilly groupchat *fingerguns*


End file.
